I walk through the grocery store doors several times a week more often than not, I have my son, Ross with me. Such a common sight, that when he is not by my side the store associates are quick to say, “Where’s Ross?” “No buddy today?” Shopping trips have certainly changed over the last 30 years.
It was the late 80’s two toddlers in tow, the youngest recently diagnosed with autism. I would proceed into the grocery store, a little voice in my head, saying, “How will this trip turn out? Will we be unnoticed? Can we just slip in and out? Will a tantrum erupt? Will there be screaming? Will other shoppers stare? Will I once again leave, trying to fight back tears?” Taking a deep breath, I would walk through the doors.
A typical grocery run could go many directions from giggling boys helping mom; to big brother being a typical toddler and Ross screaming, crying and arching his back so far that he would come close to falling out of the cart. Moments like this would seem to last an eternity, with Clint begging me to make his brother stop screaming. Most generally the other shoppers were kind and considerate, even if they had a conversation going on their heads that said otherwise. On occasion, another female shopper would give me a look of disbelief and a few times proceed to tell me that I needed to do a better job parenting and controlling my child. This would leave me speechless and on the verge of tears. My shopping would abruptly stop and we would head home.
There were those, too many to number, who gave me a gentle smile, nod of the head and on occasion a much needed hug. The strangers who took time to say, “He’s fine” or “He’s not bothering me.” They were always there at the right time, giving me strength, not only to finish my grocery shopping, but to make it through the rest of the hour or even the day.
As the years passed by, both of my guys learned to behave while shopping, and I grew more confident in my parenting skills. These are some of the best and worst memories for me. Ross loves shopping and his high pitched laughter can be heard for aisles. His happy, fun loving demeanor becomes contagious. I notice smiles on shopper’s faces and perhaps hear a giggle or two. Not only is Ross having a great time doing one of his favorite past times, he is spreading joy to others, giving them a moment to smile.
I’m not so concerned about making a scene these days, and there are many shopping trips that still do not go well. My blood pressure increases. My face might get a bit red. I stop, take a breath, and choose words that will hopefully calm. Holding his hands, rubbing them gently, and patiently wait until the moment when we can finish gathering the items on our list. Feeling confident that I am doing the best that I can in that moment.
The sweet and friendly faces around me continue to provide reassurance. To those unknown shoppers with tender smiles of encouragement throughout the years, giving me the strength to make it through one more aisle, you have been a part of my journey and I thank you.
Such sweet memories
Always a special time when we ran into you and Kevin!
This is so special and encouraging, Marla💙 Thanks for sharing your heart!
Thank you, Beth!
I am sitting here with tears steaming down my cheeks! I am so glad that God gave Ross to you and Greg!💙💜
Thank you, Donna for being a part of our village!! Ross is blessed to have such a cool Aunt!!
Oh, Marla!!! I’m immediately brought back to the last time we saw each other at Kroger! We stopped in front of Starbucks and had a (too long) conversation. That was when you told me of your upcoming move. We both kept an eye on Ross to make sure we weren’t talking too long. Right now my tears are flowing remembering that day as well as thinking about the other shopping trips you described. As a teacher, I loved having both your boys as my students. As a great aunt of a beautiful little boy with Autism, I thank you for sharing your story to help those moms and dads who are travelling a similar path. I love you, my dear friend!!!
Dana, I do remember that day!! Do you remember if Ross had his arms crossed? Generally a sign I’ve been talking too long! Haha! Thank you for being a part of our boy’s lives! We have been truly blessed! Thank you as well for your kind words. Love you too, my friend!!
I wish I had been there for you. My heart hurts hearing all that you went through. I’m so glad you raised Ross and Clint in our home town. There really are so many kind people in Taylorville, it’s such a close knit community. I pray this move brings you, Greg, and Ross so much joy.
Kathy, Our home town was the perfect place for us to be. We had support from so many people and we are forever thankful. So many things we needed to figure out on our own. Not to worry, you have given me much love and support throughout the years. Thank you 🙂
Quite a special family! And how about Ross later ‘messing’ with me and Kate at the store?! He definitely has a sense of humor 🙂
You are so sweet!! One of my favorite memories!! Never know when it will show up as a blog post 😉
This is the best Aunt Marla! I love it and I love you guys!!
Thank you, Maddie!! We love you too!!
Marla
Thanks again for being vulnerable and sharing to help so many others. You are and always will be the perfect mom for Ross. Love to ya
Thank you for your kind words, Rhonda.